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How to find good music

Bad music has some uses

Good uses for bad music, By Bob Plumb

 

Most of us choose music for our own enjoyment.  But you may not be aware that music has other practical uses, too.  Many of my friends have discovered that music can also be an effective tool to irritate the people who annoy them.

 

Think of it.  How do you feel when you are forced to listen to really bad music?  Put this knowledge to work for you and maybe you, too, can get some benefit from the music you despise.

 

If you have someone in your office who you don’t like or who you want to encourage to stay away, just find out what kind of music he or she really doesn’t like and keep that music playing loudly in your house, cubicle, or office all the time.

 

As you probably know, most people intuitively leave when they have to endure Hip Hop or Rapp music.  You have long wondered why anyone would ever intentionally play it.  What a few people know is that these forms of music, which were originally created for the angry, the frustrated, and for the growing ranks of dysfunctional mysogonists…and for those who want to be, naturally compels everyone else to flee into the desert.  Hence, many savvy people use loud Hip Hop music as a tool to get rid of unwanted normal, happy, emotionally stable people.  People who are generally high functioning, happy and content, and who are not angry or dysfunctional will usually go far away as soon as they hear it.

 

I realize that when you first make this discovery, the knowledge can be a little unsettling.  Discovering that most of the Rapp or Hip Hop music that has tortured you over the years has not been played because anyone actually enjoys it, but instead it was being played by people who were only trying to get you to leave, can be a major but painful “Ah Hah!” moment.  And you thought they were your friends!

 

While we’re at it, there is another cool way to use Rapp or Hip Hop music.  If any of your children’s friends’ parents annoy you, you can punish these adults without them even knowing they are being punished.  Just allow their kids to listen to angry music when they come to your house.  After a while they will become increasingly vulgar, violent, rebellious, and unmanageable, which will punish those uppity parents.

 

ANOTHER LITTLE KNOWN FACT

 

You are probably aware that most normal, healthy people enjoy good country music.  But what you may not know is that many country songs and artists actually had their music produced as a gag.  Many years ago, prankster music executives started using tear-jerker country songs to depress, immobilize, or to irritate people with whom they were in competition.  They found that these songs would foment depression in people they are competing with, or who they don’t like or when they wanted to lower someone’s level of functionality.

 

Classic oldies can also be used to irritate people who annoy you.  With oldies there is a true principle:  Songs that were lousy forty years ago have not gotten any better with time.  If you have people you need to irritate or to drive away, play classic oldies that were bad 40 years ago.  They will be just as awful today.

 

Finally, most of you are aware that Christmas music, which is now playing in stores as early as the Fourth of July can also get on people’s nerves and drive people into therapy.  If you want to limit the length of visits of people who you can barely tolerate, Christmas music is one weapon that will run people off during Halloween or Thanksgiving.

 

Hopefully, these suggestions will give you a few new options with your music selection.  You can now better choose your music based upon your objectives.  And, of course you can keep playing the music you like when you are all alone or hanging out with people you enjoy.