Cussing Cows Doesn’t Count!


By Justin Case

We all know that cussing is a bad vice.  It shows disrespect, a lack of self-control, and is usually intended to hurt or offend someone.  However, what many do not know is that in Heaven, cussing does not count as cussing whenever it is directed toward cows.

I know this because my grandfather told me.  And he was a very religious and good man who probably never did anything wrong, and who hardly ever cussed that I knew of…except for once.

As a boy, I was helping him get ready to milk when one of the cows kicked him.  It must have hurt him pretty bad.  So, grandpa let out a whole bunch of unusual words, some of which I knew but was not allowed to say, and some of which I had no idea what they even meant.

Has soon as he realized that he had said what he had said and that I had heard what he said, he tied up the cow, pulled me aside, and explained to me that God didn’t like cussing, but when it was directed toward cows He understood and it was alright, especially cows that had just kicked you.

Being the good man he is, I am certain Grandpa would know.  So if you are one who has a problem with cussing, you had better stop, unless you are cussing cows.