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12 Uses For Dead Fish

dead fish alternatives

Alternative uses for a dead fish,  By Ben Goode

Since there are some women who refuse to cook fish when their husbands catch them, and since the fishing has been pretty good at the reservoir lately, the guys down at The Junction Café have come up with a list of alternative uses for your dead fish.

We hope you find this helpful.

 

12 uses for a dead fish

  1. Hang one above your front door to ward off evil spirits.
  2. Use a dead fish to stop the drain in the sink.
  3. Smoking your fish can be a comparatively healthy alternative to smoking tobacco and other carcinogens.
  4. Judges, try using one of your fish as a gavel.
  5. A dead fish makes a wonderful imaginary friend you can talk to whenever you’re lonely.
  6. Use dead fish to chum for flies or bears.
  7. Fish make pretty good bookends…for a while.
  8. Situated properly, your dead fish can act as a holder for your cell phone.
  9. In hard times a fish can serve as a pretty good pillow.
  10. For self-defense, use fish in place of num chucks or bollas.
  11. With a little ingenuity and some duct tape, a couple of fish can be transformed into sandals or, as we prefer to call them, true “flip flops.”
  12. A fish can be made into a fine necklace-or, given the size of fish you usually catch, earrings.